When the Pain Is Real — But the Explanation Isn’t

katherinebutcher
1 day ago
4 min read

There’s a particular kind of hesitation that arises when you see someone you care about in pain and quietly realise the explanation they’ve been given doesn’t quite fit.

That hesitation deepens when the explanation comes from a trusted authority — a doctor, a specialist, someone in a white coat. You don’t want to challenge that. You don’t want to dismiss them. And most of all, you don’t want to make the person you love feel invalidated or unheard. Because the pain is real.

You see it in the morning flare. The commute flare. The end-of-day spike. The “right before plans” sabotage.

If your symptoms feel like they have a standing meeting on your calendar, you’re not imagining it — and you’re not doing anything wrong.

The suffering is real. The intensity is real. The disruption is real.

What’s often misunderstood is why it’s happening.

Neuroplastic Pain Is Real Pain

Neuroplastic pain is not imagined. It is not “made up.” It is not weakness.

It is pain generated by the brain as a protective mechanism — often in response to perceived threat rather than structural damage.

The brain’s job is protection. And when it senses danger — emotional stress, unresolved trauma, pressure, fear — it can turn up pain as a warning signal, even when tissues are healthy.

This doesn’t make the pain less real. It makes it misunderstood.

Why This Conversation Feels So Threatening

Most people grow up believing pain always equals damage.

We are wired that way for survival. Physical pain is supposed to mean harm — and that association keeps us alive.

There’s even a rare genetic condition in which people cannot feel pain, and many of those individuals have shortened lifespans because they miss the warning signals that protect most of us.

Pain, at its core, is protective.

So when someone experiences severe pain without clear 100% structural cause, they often feel trapped between two frightening possibilities:

“Something serious is wrong and no one has found it yet.”
“Maybe this is psychological — and that means people won’t believe me.”

The first option breeds anxiety and endless searching.

The second breeds shame and isolation.

Neither is healing.

Why Validation Comes First

In my clinical work — whether through Clinical Hypnotherapy or Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT) — the first step is never explanation. It’s validation.

Before we talk about the brain, we establish safety.

Because without safety, the nervous system stays defensive. And when the nervous system is defensive, pain persists.

Statements like:

“It’s only stress.”
“Just relax.”
“Nothing is wrong.”
“Stop thinking about it.”

…even when well-meaning, can feel dismissive.

Instead, we begin here:

“I believe you.”
“Your pain is real.”
“Your body is trying to protect you.”
“You are not broken.”

When someone feels genuinely heard and believed, their nervous system softens. Defensiveness drops. The brain becomes more open to new learning.

And healing becomes possible.

Understanding the Brain’s Protective Loop

In neuroplastic pain, the brain has learned to associate certain contexts or emotional states with danger.

Morning. Driving. Deadlines. Social events.

The pain becomes predictable.

Not because damage is predictable. But because the brain is rehearsing protection.

The good news? The brain is capable of unlearning.

This is where Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT) becomes powerful. It helps retrain the brain to reinterpret sensations as safe rather than threatening. And when the brain feels safe, the pain signal reduces.

In hypnotherapy, we go even deeper — working directly with unconscious threat detection patterns and helping the nervous system recalibrate.

This is not about convincing yourself nothing is wrong.

It’s about teaching your brain that you are safe.

Before Introducing a Neuroplastic Explanation

If you’re speaking to someone you love about this, consider:

1. Your relationship with them. Trust determines receptivity. Without trust, even correct information feels threatening.

2. Their openness. Are they curious? Frustrated? Or attached to a structural explanation? Move at their pace.

3. Your credibility. If you’re not trained in this work, refer them to someone who is. Humility builds trust.

Family, Therapist, or Doctor — It Matters

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist and PRT practitioner, I often see clients who have already consulted medical professionals.

Doctors are essential for ruling out dangerous pathology. That step is important.

But when scans are clear and symptoms persist, it can feel confusing and frightening.

This is where a neuroplastic lens becomes transformative.

My role is not to dismiss medical explanations. It is to work with the nervous system once structural causes have been ruled out — helping the brain update outdated danger signals.

Because pain that is generated by the brain can be reversed by the brain.

What Healing Looks Like

Healing neuroplastic pain does not involve forcing positivity.

It involves: • Understanding the protective nature of pain • Reducing fear of sensations • Building safety in the nervous system • Rewiring threat associations • Restoring trust in the body

Over time, flares become less frequent. Intensity reduces. The “standing appointment” dissolves. And most importantly, fear decreases.

Because fear is fuel for neuroplastic pain.

You Are Not Broken

If you’re living with symptoms that don’t match structural findings, you are not crazy.

You are not weak.

You are not imagining it.

Your brain is doing what it believes is protective.

And protection can be retrained.

Through Clinical Hypnotherapy and Pain Reprocessing Therapy, I help clients gently recalibrate that protective response so the nervous system can return to safety.

Because when the brain feels safe, the body follows.